Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Day Blaine Almost Died

Blaine is my middle child who seems to get hurt more than the others. He is the dare devil child who anytime I tell him not to do something (like "play in the street because you might get run over by a car") has to try it out to make sure I was right. Or to prove me wrong, is more like it. I can honestly say that I am very surprised he has not had to have stitches or a cast. Knock on wood. But the day Blaine almost died was not because of a careless accident like you would think. He almost lost his life because he almost gave his mother a heart attack.

It's been about 6 weeks since this "little incident" happened. I have failed to tell about it here because at first I was so mad. Then I forgot. If I remember correctly, it was a Wednesday night and Stephen had taken Bryson to church. I was home with the older two because they had been running a fever and complaining of sore throats, both were coughing and Brayden's ears were hurting. Brayden ended up having a double ear infection and walking pneumonia. Blaine had a cold and needed a stronger decongestant. So I stayed home with them and it wasn't long before I threatening them that they better start acting sick or I was going to put them to work. They were fighting and picking at each other all day. So since they were feeling so well, they got to pick up there rooms and put away their clean clothes, and so on.

I was getting some things done. I had just mopped the kitchen floor and finished a few loads of clothes. I went to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher and load a few things back in. I turned on the faucet to rinse a plate and water starting going everywhere! I had a cookie sheet in the sink and at first I thought the water was reflecting off of it so I turned my head and picked up the cookie sheet at the same time. The water didn't stop so I turn to look and realize it is coming from the sprayer. I turned off the water quickly and I see it.

A rubber band.

By this time I am soaked and I am furious.

I started screaming, "Who did this?!?"

I stomped into the living room where Brayden was playing the Playstation. He doesn't say a word....just shakes his head and points to the other room where Blaine is. I stomped back to Blaine and he (the poor kid) was on the phone and I snatched it from him and hung up on whoever he was talking to. I know...complete and total over reaction, which I apologized for and explained why to him later. (He picked that one day that wasn't a good day to do something like this.) I marched him to the kitchen and began explaining to him loudly how I had just finished mopping the floor and now he was going to get to clean it all up. Then I told him I know he got it from America's Funniest Videos and how everyone in the house was banned from ever watching it again! While he was cleaning and I was preaching, Stephen and Bryson walked in from church and they just stood there.

Bryson turned to Stephen and said, "Blaine's in trouble again."

All poor little Blaine kept saying was, "It was just a joke."

But he said it with a snotty, huffy attitude accompanied by eye rolls that would make his Aunt Rachael proud, which made me even more mad! I sent everyone to bed so I could finish up everything and lower my blood pressure. No, I don't have blood pressure problems, but I felt like I was going to explode after that. I ended up staying up late searching the internet for a practical joke to pull on him.

I could put Saran Wrap over their bedroom door so they would run into it when they got up in the morning. Fire hazard.

I could duct tape them into their room. Still a fire hazard.

I could put Saran Wrap around the toilet under the seat so they won't see it. They can't hit the toilet anyway so how will that be any different than any other day?

I could wake them up in the middle of the night and make them think they were late for school. It's summer break, we have no where to be that early and I am too lazy.

I could poor cold water over the shower curtain when they are showering. They know how to pick the lock to my bathroom, too.

I found one that I thought was really good and wouldn't make a bigger mess for me to clean up. Snap 'n' Pops. Under the toilet seat. So when he sits down to do his business he will almost have a heart attack like me and then I can video when he comes running out of the bathroom. Then when he complains about being bored, I can say, "Let's watch that video of when I put Snap 'n' Pops under the toilet seat!"

Now if I can only figure out how to do it so it happens to Blaine and not one of the other boys. Or me. And if I can only figure out his "schedule". Hmmm.......



nat said...

Hilarious. Hope your plan works. Let us know.

Ken Row said...

The revenge angle sounds fun, but wouldn't it also cause them to find an even better way to get you?

Ken Row said...

You (and Blaine) should be glad you found it when you did. Imagine how much worse it'd have been had gotten sprayed on Sunday morning just before you walked out the door to church!


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