This is a story that I have wanted to blog for about a month but have been too busy to sit down and type. Baseball is mostly over now, except for tournaments on the weekends. Maybe I can get things back to normal here soon. Except we have to get the A/C fixed now. And of course, that just happens to be on the hottest day of the year so far. I am sitting in my kitchen next to the open windows so I don't have a heat stroke drinking my "go juice"...coffee that is.
I have always teased since having children about praying with my eyes open in church because I am afraid if I close my eyes and then open them when the prayer is over, I will find a child missing. You know...an escapee. We sit close to the front of the auditorium and the way our pews are placed is kinda weird. It is hard to explain, but where we sit you can see people in the back. And they can see you. Really good. So I have always used that against my boys. When they would misbehave I would put them in my lap and whisper in their ear, "See all those people? They are looking at you and they are seeing you be ugly." And that would be the end. Because even though all those people are looking at the preacher or song leader, it really does look like they are staring at you when you sit down front. They didn't like people seeing them get in trouble so that usually straightened them up real quick.
Until Bryson came along. He obviously doesn't care that people see him.
I have been praying with my eyes open during services now for 10 1/2 years and have had no children go AWAL. Until about a month ago. And it wasn't during prayer. Or singing. We have one guy that does the announcements at the end of our services. He has a radio announcer voice. And when Mr. Naaman gets up to do the announcements all the kids know it is almost over. Either time to go to Bible class if it is Sunday morning, or time to go play with their friends if it is after Sunday pm or Wednesday services.
So are you following me here? Do you know what I am about to tell you?
Mr. Naaman got up and started the announcements and Bryson slowly went to the end of the pew. The end that was further from me and closer to the stage area. He had seen Jack behind us go to the end of his pew and sit during services and Bryson loves Jack so I thought maybe he was going to imitate him. And that would have been fine with me.
But he didn't stop there.
Well...he did. Long enough to look back at me and give me that look. Yes...that one. And I gave it right back. And pointed to the seat next to me and mouthed, "Sit down right here...NOW."
He smiled. And he does have a cute smile, doesn't he?
Don't let him fool you. He can be evil, too.
He dropped the tissue (on purpose) and the thumb came out of his mouth. He looked back again. I gave him the look again but with a little more intensity.
Now keep in mind, I did plan what I was going to wear that morning around the fact that he had decided that week he was not going to wear diapers anymore. Could we not wait until baseball was over and we are home a little more? Of course not. In fact, the first day I had nothing but diapers so my child went naked. Yes. He went naked. And loved every moment. Until I diapered him to go to the store to get pull ups. So I didn't wear heels that day to church. I wore a long casual skirt and my sequined Yellow Box flip flops. I could get him to the bathroom quick enough in that. And we only went out once to go potty and he did really good. He only hollered, "I gotta go peeeeee!" loudly one time.
So at the end of services I thought all was well. Until Mr. Naaman got up there. And when we were giving each other "the look" I heard him mumble something.
"I'm gonna go play."
And he was gone.
Full speed to the front of the auditorium. To the stage. And I was at the other end of a long pew. That seemed to be getting longer by the second. I jumped up and ran after him. I grabbed him by his sleeve one step from the bottom step of the stage. I took him out and spanked him. And all he had to say was, "I want DADDY!"
I told him his daddy could have him. All day long. I guess I should be thankful he can't get his clothes of yet!
Do any of you have any good escapee stories to tell?