To the old man behind me in the check out lane at the grocery store:
Thank you for crowding me in the grocery line yesterday. I just loved how every time I pushed my cart an inch and stepped forward you were right there. Breathing down my neck. I especially loved how I could here you huff and puff with every item I put on the belt. I didn't look, but I am sure you were rolling your eyes too. At this point I wasn't sure why you had such an attitude, but you made it clear before I left. I guess you were in a hurry? Well, I was too. I was ready for supper and so was my entire family.
My favorite part was the comment you made to the check out girl upon my leaving. I guess you thought I couldn't hear you, but I guess since you are old you talk louder than you think. No, there isn't an ice storm coming, for your information. Welcome to my world of feeding three growing boys. And for your information, with luck and a little creativity, I hopefully will be able to stretch this over flowing cart of food to 2 weeks. If I'm lucky. You should see the cart in the winter time when I don't have fresh vegetables to pick in the garden.
And you should be thankful I only had one with me. I probably would have scratched your eyes out if I had just shopped with all of them and had to put up with your huffing, puffing, eye rolling, snide comments. Maybe you have never had children to shop for and maybe you are a grouch because you never got to see little smiles everyday.
And if you were in such a hurry, why didn't you offer to help put the groceries on the belt? And if you were in such a hurry, why don't you try the express lane next time and leave the regular line for people like me?